School after Work

The last of my grades came in today, and I finally had a clear picture of my academic performance over the last 9 months. Picking up from a piece I had written last year on heading onward to school, it has been a straightforward and a rewarding journey in Amsterdam with an entirely new set of people. The aspects experienced that need to be mentioned include a tumultuous (ongoing) personal overhaul and an invigorating ambition of academic excellence which I did not know existed.

I think in 10 year plans, albeit they are desirable visions rather than a concrete step by step approach. There has been an increasing focus on where my strengths lie through my 8 year career. Being in college now is only a step towards sharpening the skillset further.

It is crucial to note that while coursework and study material remains same for everyone, it is the intention behind studying and desired output from the process that leads to varying results. I remember my intentions being different as an eighteen year old, they are starkly different now.

While being interviewed by the centre head for this program last year, I was asked whether studying by book would interest me again, after almost a decade of being a professional. My explanation that being a self taught business person involved heavy education through written material was probably not entirely convincing (since classrooms and exams are a different ballgame) but she did give me a try. I’m grateful.

Being a student

This last year has been humbling. Switching to being a student was thankfully effortless, but there was unlearning to be done, new methodologies to be learned and applied in ways that fit the marking scheme. For example, it meant writing a simplistic paragraph on why employees need to be motivated; It meant preparing a business plan not for investors but for examiners. The process helped a part of me switch off, and instead realign that entire knowledge base to switch on in a new manner, to suit a new purpose.

My scores remained consistently high throughout, which is a relief. I had not known what it feels to score so well in graduation school, and perhaps there was a hole inside that had to be filled. My work experience came in handy, for it helped me grasp the context and understand applications. Our grades are spread over team projects, essays, theory and presentations for business, economics & finance – which puts the onus on ensuring everyone in the team scores high enough. What a beautifully vicious way to teach us collaboration.

Soaking in

On relocating – there was an initial grapple with feeling insufficient, since the fast paced work life of Mumbai was what I had always known. Dropping out at the age of 19, hustling for a year and building a serious business after that meant I had never really had a vacation till after exiting that business, till after I was 25. Also, my workaholic tendencies had continued into new roles, so no proper vacation till crossing 28.

Now – being in a city that is so comfortable and satisfied, with only classes to attend, was great – but this utter ease without ‘work’ seemed alien. This restlessness had to be compensated somehow, and was done so by attending business events, joining expat gatherings and visiting fun places, trying to soak into the city better. Doubling down on work reading helped too, it helped improve my work skills.

Soaking into the city led to validations and new realisations with regards to my previous understanding of how business is conducted in this part of the world. It also helped understand the social fabric better – how the Dutch and (kut) expats live their wonderful lives in this city, and what goes on in their lovely minds.

Overhaul

I have had a roller coaster ride with self esteem issues since high school. While it has never kept me from stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people, I have rarely been satisfied with any personal progress made. There has always been a feeling of not being good enough – academically, career wise, physically. This, despite having a loving family, a set of close loving friends and having been in glorious relationships. Work has been rewarding too. This feeling of ‘lack’ manifested in various ways in the past – from not focusing on my body to being overly self critical at work.

Self awareness is the first step, and that started a few years back. There was a gradual investment into how I feel about myself, and the way I dress. This focus improved when I had an opportunity to dabble with luxury retail and ‘slow lifestyle’ thanks to work. Friends and colleagues always offered a peek into their worlds, offered a leg up, inspired through conversations, and that helped with the climb.

This introspective and transformational process accelerated on moving to Amsterdam. Perhaps because individualism is a part of everyday reality here. Perhaps, for the first time, I had a chance to pause, lay still, and let my feelings of ‘lack’ marinate and dissolve. The Hairy Legs Project was the first time I really questioned how I feel about my body, experienced a flawless sense of ownership, and this is where things got interesting.

My written works since the last ten years have been quite stark and nude. Through prose and poetry – I was exploring a unifying factor that brought my sense of being together – I was attempting to understand what it feels to accept and love what we have. Through life lived and writing about it, I was only gaining ground on being aware of how I observe and understand myself.

My writings and formats changed to accommodate this newfound (and ever developing) comfort with my body, toying with emotional stimuli, dark and light. There has been wet pain and moist longing that came forth, but there was also warm recovery and white soliloquy. There was acceptance of parting ways, though peppered with melting kisses.

It is a steep climb, as I come into my own again. The pursuit is fierce and it lies within. It is strangely poignant yet blushing pink.

Sector Agnostic Skillset

There is also a major validation that helped boost my understanding of how organisations need to ‘market’ themselves. This includes hiring talent, where to place them, how to measure their work, what access and authority needs to be given, and what depth to source oil from while drafting communication policies for the brand.

I have been a “philosopher” at work, quoting my ex employer. It is praise and criticism bundled into one – as someone who can foresee change yet may not effectively implement it. Foreseeing is arguably easier than implementing, the classical difference between theory and practice. Feedback was accepted and ability to implement developed, but there was still an aching issue – companies and promoters failed to understand the delicate balance between intangible and tangible aspects of marketing. This hurt their businesses in the long run. Also, most marketing agencies sell fluff to unwitting promoters, thus hurting the credibility of the entire sector. The problem stems from not knowing what to expect from a marketing activity, therefore relying on incorrect metrics and relying on talent that is not invested in questioning the status quo.

My work methods have been well researched yet radical, built for the long term, but it took me time to learn how to pitch it to promoters who are either not educating themselves or are obsessed with short term growth. However, the blame lies with the marketing team (me), it is their job to communicate effectively. It also led to significant self doubt, despite having theoretical evidence, making me question my strategic thought process.

Geographical shift to a new business environment helped. In addition to all my previous radical strategic suggestions being vindicated, I also realised that CMOs across the world are grappling with the same issue – requirement of new metrics, blurring of departmental boundaries, developed and sensitive customer journeys. This meant that we are at the cusp of an organisational behavioural shift, dealing with cutting-edge cross-disciplinary leadership issues, and all developments need to be documented. What an exciting discovery, and what a time to be the eye of the storm.

Front Bench

Academics and developments on the work front promise to be challenging in coming years. As a staunch first bencher, I hope to make the most out of the available access to resources at hand.

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Words:
Sushrut Munje