i threw a guitar at him.

Date A Girl Who Drives

For anyone who has read ‘Date An Illiterate Girl’ by Charles Warnke and a pretty reply to it ‘Date A Girl Who Reads’ by Rosemarie Urquico, this will be something of a let down. If you indeed wish to labour on through it, you have my gratitude and a certain amount of suspicion.

Date a girl who drives. Date a girl who can tell an engine apart from a carburettor. She understands how a  differential works. Date a girl who reads an automobile magazine.

Find a girl who drives. You’ll know that she does because she will always long for the open road. She’s the one looking longingly at that BMW which whipped past you on the highway. You see the chick who has her hands on her hip, a faraway look in her eye and maybe, just maybe a smidgen of grease where usually make up exists. A girl not afraid to get her hands dirty.

She’s the girl with the driver license. I am sure, you will find many of those but this one you’ll know due to the calm and unaffected manner in which she talks about driving. She’ll be the one scrutinizing the latest Italian powerhorse in the swanky showroom. Ask her if she prefers British cars over Italian ones. Listen to what she says, if she doesn’t insult you outright by pointing out that German cars are the only cars.
Stomach the insult. Offer to buy her a coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Indian cars. See if she talks about her first drive. The feel of the engine humming. The feeling of power in her hands. The feeling of wind messing up her hair. The feeling of being one’s own master. It is not easy to date a girl who drives. A girl who is used to freedom and control. Giving her gifts will be a real pain in the neck. Understand that she doesn’t really expect you, a guy, to ever understand why she loves to drive. She knows that you won’t ever.
But she must try.

She will probably have no use for much words. Action will be appealing. Show her. How much it means to you. She will see. She may not say anything but she will see.

She has controlled a vehicle. She knows failure intimately. She has had her car breakdown, in the middle of the road. She has answered frantic and angry honks with a finger of her own. She has overcome failure and driven again. She has probably dented the car and worried about it to no end. If you fail her, give her time. Let her lash out in frustration, at the lack of control. She will understand.

Learn to be frightened. Girls who drive understand the hassles and the hazards involved. Sometimes it is not your fault. Some douche had too much to drink and decided to say hello to your car. Sometimes it is your fault.
Learn to say ‘fuck you’ because she probably does.

If you find a girl who drives, and that is a big if, as society does not seem very kind to the type, keep her close. When you find her hanging out with other guys, don’t go all male over her. You may lose her for a couple of hours, to the talk, to the scent of the machine, but she will come back. She’ll know of loyalty, to man and machine.

You will have to propose in a car, or near it or somewhere in its vicinity. Probably, while you clutch her hand as she lies in a hospital bed, recovering from a mild concussion, that was not her fault. Learn that it is never her fault.

Date a girl who drives because you may want to know that freedom. Know a girl who can give you promises of adventure and tales of speed. If you want to cling to ideas, smell old books and drink coffee all day, you do not deserve her. If however, you yearn to experience the promise of excitement that your book provides, learn to treasure her.

Or better yet, date a girl who rides.


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